Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream. Eversince my intellect was formed, I've refused most of what life offered me. It has never taken me much time to figure out the fact that I am different. On the one hand, I have failed in accomodating myself to what has been up round me. I have come to the conclusion that my attempts to be a part of a world I do not approve must have all met failture. On the other hand, I could not shut myself up. My secluded isolated life was no use. I shall not hide behind walls waiting for a fat cop to come get me. I used to see things and say "why?". Now, I am able to dream and say "why not?" (BS). It is all about how my eyes want to behold life. Every night is followed by a dawn. The darker my night is, the faster my morning comes.
I don't know what time it is .. it's dark, anyway .. but nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists .. Everything is fading from view .. walking away .. too far .. that I no longer see .. if someone is still there .. waiting for me .. driving away my fear .. removing my tear .. holding my hands .. my frozen hands .. I just look around .. but nobody is here .. nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists .. They are all gone .. all away .. too far .. to call .. to supplicate .. too far for me to move .. to dream .. just one last dream .. I'm lonely .. grieved .. tight up .. to a place I don't know .. to a wish I never made .. to people I do not behold .. to a body I do not feel .. I'm afraid .. scared .. but nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists .. They are not here .. yet, I am Take my hand .. my friend .. I need you .. I love you .. I don't have to die .. to get lost .. down darkness .. down silence .. down myself .. down there .. I don't belong here .. it's scary .. My friend .. get me out .. one last favour .. I'm dying .. but nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists I breathe .. It's hard .. unbearable .. sad .. I'm tired .. so tired .. but nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists .. Death is coming over .. too fast .. too eagerly .. I'm just gonna lie there .. embracing myself .. getting ready .. to welcome it .. I don't want to die .. but .. I have nowhere to escape .. it's so dark .. so silent .. but nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists "over here" I call out .. they still don't hear me .. neither do I .. I still breathe .. holding .. to my faith .. asking .. for a drop of water .. of strength .. of courage .. of something other than .. what I have .. They never answer .. nobody does .. nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists I'm left .. thrown away .. too far .. somewhere .. so deep .. All harshly .. all cruely .. pain eats me away .. but nobody knows .. nobody cares .. nobody exists Still trying .. pretty much hard .. to smile .. fake a smile .. one last smile .. when everything .. seems to have been taken away .. too far .. that I touch nothing .. beneath my chest .. but my little heart .. that's broken .. that's lost .. that's torn .. into pieces I can't put together .. to make a picture .. other than .. the one they drew .. and threw .. away .. too far ..
Digging my grave .. inbetween silence .. I listened .. There was a voice .. coming from .. either within .. or upthere .. I listened .. to the divine word .. " God knows .. God cares .. God exists" .. Hope flashed .. like a lightening .. in a night .. darker than mine .. like a thunder .. in a grave .. deeper than mine .. I was back .. breathing .. opening my eyes .. and my heart .. that beated .. once more .. one true time .. smiling to life .. and Death .. moving away .. too far ..
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